At this time we are requesting a revision before we consider your application for acceptance. Specifically, we would like you to clarify a little bit more about Alax's world and how it is that he fits into it(or not). How/Why is he a "nuisance?" Why is he more comfortable in his bird form, and how/why is that problematic? What is it you mean by "He knows he can do it?" (EG- "He feels safer in his bird form because he knows he can do it.")
Further, please review your first person sample; The sample you provided was in fact written in prose/past tense, whereas first person is meant to be "bracket-spam"/present tense.
Feel free to resubmit your revisions whenever they're completed, and we will be more than happy to review your changes.
[REVISION REQUESTED]
At this time we are requesting a revision before we consider your application for acceptance. Specifically, we would like you to clarify a little bit more about Alax's world and how it is that he fits into it(or not). How/Why is he a "nuisance?" Why is he more comfortable in his bird form, and how/why is that problematic? What is it you mean by "He knows he can do it?" (EG- "He feels safer in his bird form because he knows he can do it.")
Further, please review your first person sample; The sample you provided was in fact written in prose/past tense, whereas first person is meant to be "bracket-spam"/present tense.
Feel free to resubmit your revisions whenever they're completed, and we will be more than happy to review your changes.