[Noel stands at the front of a large building in a city similar to Academia 5xx. The wind softly blows through his hair as he looks from left to right.]
Well Serah, I guess this is the world we were fighting so hard for huh?
[He curls his right hand into a fist at his side with a grimace.]
Too bad you're not actually hear to see it.
[He walks over to what looks to be a restaurant, but there's something odd about it. He looks down and reads the display on a small terminal near the front door.]
'The diner is closed and is currently running on self-serve mode. Please select your desired dish from the menu' ... A machine... that gives out food? Ok. I suppose I could go for something to eat.
[He continues to look down at the terminal. It consists of a small screen, a number pad, and a D-pad.]
Now let's see... If I were Serah-or anyone else from her world-what would I press to make this thing work?
[Realizing that poking at the screen yields no results, he begins pressing the arrows and looking through menus.]
Oh, this isn't as hard as I thought. I think I'll have... a pie.
[He hits the "OK" button and a woman's voice comes from the terminal.]
"Please insert your Diamond, Emerald, or Ruby card to complete your purchase."
Aaw, a card? You don't have like uh, complimentary visitors' gift or something?
"No." [The machine responds in a dry tone.]
Ya know what. On second thought, I'm not that hungry. I think I'll--
[At this moment, a large "CLUNK" sound is heard from a slot under the terminal. Noel looks back to see what could have made the sound. He slowly walks over to get a closer look as everything appears unchanged. He leans down noticing a slot under the terminal. He reaches in and pulls out...]
...A crystal... pie?
[He lets it go only for it to continue hovering slightly above his hand as it rotates slowly; the sunlight glinting off of the crystalized crust.]
This must be an artefact... but what is it doing here? I thought all the time gates were sealed off by now.
[He places the artifact in his pocket.]
Well if this is here, that means there's still questions to be answered, and if there are questions to be answered, that means there's someone to answer them.
[He briskly walks off, a hint of excitement in his step as he moves on towards his next adventure.]
Re: REVISION REQUESTED
Here's my first person sample.
Noel first person:
[Noel stands at the front of a large building in a city similar to Academia 5xx. The wind softly blows through his hair as he looks from left to right.]
Well Serah, I guess this is the world we were fighting so hard for huh?
[He curls his right hand into a fist at his side with a grimace.]
Too bad you're not actually hear to see it.
[He walks over to what looks to be a restaurant, but there's something odd about it. He looks down and reads the display on a small terminal near the front door.]
'The diner is closed and is currently running on self-serve mode. Please select your desired dish from the menu' ... A machine... that gives out food? Ok. I suppose I could go for something to eat.
[He continues to look down at the terminal. It consists of a small screen, a number pad, and a D-pad.]
Now let's see... If I were Serah-or anyone else from her world-what would I press to make this thing work?
[Realizing that poking at the screen yields no results, he begins pressing the arrows and looking through menus.]
Oh, this isn't as hard as I thought. I think I'll have... a pie.
[He hits the "OK" button and a woman's voice comes from the terminal.]
"Please insert your Diamond, Emerald, or Ruby card to complete your purchase."
Aaw, a card? You don't have like uh, complimentary visitors' gift or something?
"No." [The machine responds in a dry tone.]
Ya know what. On second thought, I'm not that hungry. I think I'll--
[At this moment, a large "CLUNK" sound is heard from a slot under the terminal. Noel looks back to see what could have made the sound. He slowly walks over to get a closer look as everything appears unchanged. He leans down noticing a slot under the terminal. He reaches in and pulls out...]
...A crystal... pie?
[He lets it go only for it to continue hovering slightly above his hand as it rotates slowly; the sunlight glinting off of the crystalized crust.]
This must be an artefact... but what is it doing here? I thought all the time gates were sealed off by now.
[He places the artifact in his pocket.]
Well if this is here, that means there's still questions to be answered, and if there are questions to be answered, that means there's someone to answer them.
[He briskly walks off, a hint of excitement in his step as he moves on towards his next adventure.]
here's my 3rd person.
http://crash-course.dreamwidth.org/13847.html?view=315927&posted=1#cmt315927