While we thought your application was strong in some respects, we would like an expansion/clarification on the personality section. You touch on Fingolfin's varied moods in the personality section, but it's unclear what makes those moods change. We would like to see more information on what causes these dramatic mood shifts (whether those causes are people, situations, etc.) and how those mood shifts manifest.
REVISION REQUESTED
While we thought your application was strong in some respects, we would like an expansion/clarification on the personality section. You touch on Fingolfin's varied moods in the personality section, but it's unclear what makes those moods change. We would like to see more information on what causes these dramatic mood shifts (whether those causes are people, situations, etc.) and how those mood shifts manifest.