Sorry that it took me so long to get back to the revision, i hope this is satisfying :)
first person:
[She gets off the train and stands on the platform, unsure of where to go or what to do. Jade is utterly confused. First, why is she on a train when she is supposed to be on a ship that's physically impossible for her to leave? Second, if this is a dream bubble (and she can’t enter dream bubbles either) then why can’t she remember this place? It’s not from any of her memories and this doesn’t resemble any other dream bubble she has been in before.
She is contemplating her next move when she realizes there is a heavy weight in her pocket. She pulls out the pocket watch with no idea where it comes from as she has not owned such a watch before. Staring at it for a while before she opens it up and starts pressing random buttons, she manages to turn it on and decides to maybe try and communicate with someone, not realizing in fact that she's now speaking to the whole city.]
This city is certainly strange; this can’t be a dream bubble, right? This is no memory I can recall!
[She isn’t looking at the watch; more of the buildings around her.]
Sooooo, does anyone here have answers? Or can anyone at least tell me where I am?? It would be nice to know where this place is!
[She smiles at the watch.]
So, if anyone is out there, please reply asap!!
[The feed cuts off as Jade starts her own search for an answer now.]
Third Person
It has been one year since the journey across the golden yard began.
If she was being honest with herself, not a lot had happened in that one year. Not that she was surprised though. With her powers controlling the ship and the fact that the golden yard won’t let them enter dream bubbles, there wasn’t anything out there but the void when they slept. So, the ship was the only place for Jade.
There was nothing she could do but sit and wait the three years out.
Jade didn’t mind though, since she spent most of life alone on her isolated island. Being surrounded by people for the first time was a good feeling, and although she could count on the palm of her hand how many of them she could have an intelligent conversation with she really didn't mind. It’s a good feeling, having someone to play games or have a chat with. In some strange way, it was like having a normal life with no care in the world.
On the other hand though, her time on the ship made her miss the days of playing sburb with her friends. She missed the adventure and having an important role and something to actually do. She missed Dave and Rose, and even the trolls she hasn't been able to meet yet. She sometimes wondered what they are doing on the meteor, if they were thinking the same things she was. She wanted to meet her grandpa – the kid version of him, she wanted to meet him and finally get a chance to talk with him. She wanted to help them to fix their game and beat it, and maybe they can all finally have their happily ever after.
But the reality was that she must wait, like everyone else on the ship and on the meteor. In the meantime, she will spend her time playing games with John and listening to Davesprite’s jokes, helping out Nannasprite with baking, trying not to scare Jaspersprite too much and play with the consorts when she can.
Because it’s another two years before the real adventures begins.
[REVISION REQUESTED]
first person:
[She gets off the train and stands on the platform, unsure of where to go or what to do. Jade is utterly confused. First, why is she on a train when she is supposed to be on a ship that's physically impossible for her to leave? Second, if this is a dream bubble (and she can’t enter dream bubbles either) then why can’t she remember this place? It’s not from any of her memories and this doesn’t resemble any other dream bubble she has been in before.
She is contemplating her next move when she realizes there is a heavy weight in her pocket. She pulls out the pocket watch with no idea where it comes from as she has not owned such a watch before. Staring at it for a while before she opens it up and starts pressing random buttons, she manages to turn it on and decides to maybe try and communicate with someone, not realizing in fact that she's now speaking to the whole city.]
This city is certainly strange; this can’t be a dream bubble, right? This is no memory I can recall!
[She isn’t looking at the watch; more of the buildings around her.]
Sooooo, does anyone here have answers? Or can anyone at least tell me where I am?? It would be nice to know where this place is!
[She smiles at the watch.]
So, if anyone is out there, please reply asap!!
[The feed cuts off as Jade starts her own search for an answer now.]
Third Person
It has been one year since the journey across the golden yard began.
If she was being honest with herself, not a lot had happened in that one year. Not that she was surprised though. With her powers controlling the ship and the fact that the golden yard won’t let them enter dream bubbles, there wasn’t anything out there but the void when they slept. So, the ship was the only place for Jade.
There was nothing she could do but sit and wait the three years out.
Jade didn’t mind though, since she spent most of life alone on her isolated island. Being surrounded by people for the first time was a good feeling, and although she could count on the palm of her hand how many of them she could have an intelligent conversation with she really didn't mind. It’s a good feeling, having someone to play games or have a chat with. In some strange way, it was like having a normal life with no care in the world.
On the other hand though, her time on the ship made her miss the days of playing sburb with her friends. She missed the adventure and having an important role and something to actually do. She missed Dave and Rose, and even the trolls she hasn't been able to meet yet. She sometimes wondered what they are doing on the meteor, if they were thinking the same things she was. She wanted to meet her grandpa – the kid version of him, she wanted to meet him and finally get a chance to talk with him. She wanted to help them to fix their game and beat it, and maybe they can all finally have their happily ever after.
But the reality was that she must wait, like everyone else on the ship and on the meteor. In the meantime, she will spend her time playing games with John and listening to Davesprite’s jokes, helping out Nannasprite with baking, trying not to scare Jaspersprite too much and play with the consorts when she can.
Because it’s another two years before the real adventures begins.